The Love in That Summer
爱在那个夏天
She was fond of Strauss, KFC, and Brazil Espresso. Dressed in decent grey skirt suit, she wasbusy working in a modernized office. That was herlife before meeting me. Ever since our dating all thosehave vanished.
It was in 1997 when I started my so-called “greatbusiness”. She followed me wholeheartedly. Thatsummer came early. Flowers dyed the town dazzlinglyred. We stayed in the outskirts, in a small room of acondo known as an illegal structure of this city. Windblew through all the four walls into the room, thenhome of her and me.
In order to save money, we walked to our storedowntown every day. Lunches were always simple likedoggie food, worth no more than 1.5 yuan for eachof us. We walked back home at the end of the day,so beat that all we wanted was collapse into bed. Itseemed that we make it through one whole year thisway.
Those days were bitter. Business was my totem;love was her belief. Both supported us from fallingapart.
We walked home late one day. She sat at thebed edge, washing her feet in a bucket on the floor. Iwent to the landlord for boiled water to make instantnoodle. When I got back carrying a thermos bottle,she fell back into the bed sound asleep, feet in water.She must have been extremely exhausted. One of herhands was under her body. I heard her light snore. Itiptoed to the bed and tried to flip her over so that shewould be in a more comfortable position. I stared ather face, which was a young and pretty one and yetso wearied and exhausted. I saw one mosquito on thispretty face.
That summer my city was like a huge steamerbox. We put off one day to another the plan to buy amosquito net, just to save money. I knew mosquitoeswere flying all about in our room, but I seemed not tobe bothered. So exhausted when I got back each day, Idoubted if I would wake up even though someone cuta piece of flesh off my body, let alone mosquito bites.
That mosquito stayed at her forehead, sipping herblood greedily. She was still sound asleep, not feelinganything. Perhaps she was in a sweet dream in whichour business was turning better. There came anabrupt throb of my heart. I reached to wave my handat the mosquito. But it was not at all scared. I wantedto bat it to death. I raised my hand up high, but itcould not descend. I was afraid of waking her up —she was really worn out.There lay a weak mosquito between her andme, doing harm to her right now. I froze there, handin the air. I did not know what to do. I was worried.Suddenly, I began to get deeply fed up with myself. Ihated me. On the night of that summer, I stood by herside, feeling extremely guilty of her, of our love. Themosquito finally flew away. I forgave it, but I couldnever forgive myself.
In the daytime I went by a peddler’s stall andsaw a pink mosquito net priced 16 yuan. Thatamount could be spent on a lot of dealings at thetime. I headed back home without buying it. Aftershe fell asleep, I got out of bed, stood by her side, andwaved away mosquitoes with a hard paper board asa weapon. I was her temporary mosquito net all thatnight through. After a while she woke up to find whatI was doing. She gazed at me, and ten minutes latertears flooded her face.
The next day saw a pink mosquito net in myroom. We were both silent working together to fix iton our bed. In my mind I had presented the net as agift to her. I did not tell her that it was a gift. I wasfeeling that it was like a rose in full bloom. It was mycompensation to love. Then I realized that nothingcould really make it up. It was her birthday that day.
Years went by. I earned 160,000 yuan, orprecisely we earned 160,000 yuan. We did a lot ofshopping, but never a mosquito net any more. Wedid not need any mosquito net, living in a very welldecorated apartment, where no mosquitoes could flyinside. Nevertheless, I always feel that all my money,and all my belongings are far less important than the16-yuan mosquito net, which was invaluable to her,to our love.
That summer was past. We had no choice but tolove each other.
decent adj. 得体的;相当好的
exhausted adj. 疲惫的
mosquito n. 蚊子
guilty adj. 内疚的,有罪的
flood v. 涌到;充满
她喜欢听施特劳斯,吃肯德基,喝巴西特浓咖啡,穿着得体的灰色套裙在现代化的写字楼里忙碌。但那只是她遇见我之前的生活。后来,自从她与我相恋,这一切便消失了。
那是在1997 年,我开始了自己所谓的大事业,她跟着我,义无反顾。那个夏天来得很早,花儿染得城市一片彤红。我们住在市郊,一个属于该城非法公寓的小屋,四壁透风。那是我俩暂时的家。
为了省钱,每天我们步行至市区的店铺,午饭总是像狗粮一样简单,每人不超过一块五毛钱,晚上再步行回来,疲惫不堪只想倒在床上。好像整整一年,我们都是这样熬过来的。
那是一段艰苦而心酸的日子。那时,事业是我的图腾,爱情是她的信仰。这就是支撑我们没有倒下去的全部。
有一次,我们很晚才步行回家。她坐在床沿用水桶洗脚,我去房东那里讨开水泡面。当我提着暖水瓶返回时,发现她已经躺倒在床上睡着了,双脚仍在水里泡着。她一定是累坏了,一只手还压在身子底下。我听见了她轻微的鼾声。我踮着脚走到床边,想给她翻下身,好让她睡得更舒服。我盯着她的脸,那是一张年轻美丽的脸,此时却写满疲惫。在这张俊俏的脸上,我发现了一只蚊子。
那个夏天,我所处的城市像个巨大的蒸笼,可为了省钱,我们把买蚊帐的计划一推再推。我知道屋里到处都飞着蚊子,但我似乎未受干扰。每天回来后那样劳累的身体,睡下了,别说蚊子,就算有人从我身上切下一块肉,我都怀疑自己能不能醒来。
蚊子落在她的额头,贪婪地吸食着她的血。她依然睡得很香,毫无察觉,也许正做着生意好转的梦。我的心猛地抽搐了一下。我伸出手,向蚊子挥去,但蚊子对我的恐吓毫不理睬。我想用手拍死它,手扬起来,却不忍落下。我怕惊醒了她——她真得累坏了。
我与她之间,有一只弱小的蚊子,此刻正叮咬着她。我僵在那里,就那样手举在空中,不知该做些什么,心焦着。突然间,我开始对自己产生了一种深深的厌恶。我恨自己。在那个夏天的夜晚,我站在她身旁,感到极度内疚,对她,对爱情。蚊子*后飞走了。我原谅了蚊子,却决不能原谅自己。
白天经过一个小摊,我注意到一个粉色的蚊帐,标价16元。这16 元在当时可以做许多事。我回了家而没有买它。那天在她睡着后,我起了床,站在她身旁,我把一个硬纸板当做武器一样挥动着,不让蚊虫靠近她的身体。那整晚,我成了她临时的蚊帐。后来她醒了,看到我的行为,她盯着我看,10 分钟后,她便泪流满面。
第二天,小屋里挂上了粉色的蚊帐。一起挂蚊帐时,我们都一直没有说话。在我心里,我是把蚊帐当成礼物送给她的,但我没这样说。我觉得那像一朵盛开的玫瑰,就算是我对爱情的补偿。但后来我意识到,其实什么也补偿不了。那天,是她的生日。
多年过去了,我赚了16 万,或者确切地说我们赚了16 万。我们买了很多东西,却没有再买一床蚊帐。我们已经不再需要蚊帐了,精装修的房间,已经飞不进一只蚊虫。可是我总觉得,我所有的钱,所有的这些东西,都远不如那个曾经只值16 元的蚊帐重要。那对她、对我们的爱都是无价之宝。
那个夏天过去了,我们别无选择,只能相爱。