书摘
Today I am ill;I may die of this illness,for I have always had the presentimentthat I shall die young.My mother died of consumption,and the way I have alwayslived could but increase the only heritage she ever left me.But I do not want to diewithout clearing up for you everything about me;that is,if,when you come back,youwill still trouble yourself about the poor girl whom you loved before you went away. This is what the le~er contained;I shall like writing it over again,SO as to givemyself another proof of my own justification.You remember,Armand,how the arrivalof your father surprised US at Bougival;you remember the involuntary fright that hisarrival caused me,and the scene which took place between you and him,which youtold me of in the evening?
Next day,when you were in Paris,waiting for your father,and he did not return,a man came to the door and handed in a letter frOm M.Duval.
His letter,which I inclose with this,begged me,in the most serious terms,tokeep you away on the following day,on some excuse or other,and to see yourfather,who wished to speak to me,and asked me particularly not to say anything toyou about it.
今天我病倒了,我可能在这一场病中死去,因为我常有年轻早死的预感。我的母亲死于肺病,这是她留给我的**遗物,而我一贯的生活方式只能加重这种病。但是我不能就这么死去,而不让你知道一切关于我的事情,尤其是如果有**你回来了,还能关照你离开以前爱过的一个可怜女人的话。
下面就是这封信里要说的话,为了给自己的辨解提供新的证明,我很愿意把它再写一遍。你记得吗,阿尔芒,你的父亲到来的消息,怎样地惊吓到在布吉瓦尔的我们;你记得吗,这消息不由自主地让我感到恐惧;你记得吗,那晚你向我说起你与他之间发生的事情。
第二天,当你还在巴黎,等候你那没有回家的父亲时,突然有一个人到我这里来,交给我一封迪瓦尔先生的来信。
这封信现在一并附上,它用*严肃的字眼请求我在第二天编造一个理由遣开你,以便接见你的父亲。他有话希望对我谈,并且嘱咐我切莫让你知道。P263